Unanswered Questions

I've been reflecting, rather, attempting to reflect on how I've managed to have all this extra time since I'm on semester break and avoid accomplishing anything other than fill my brain with all the political goings on and sink further and further into a state a despair regarding the enormity and gravity of our country's situation.

I can really get lost in the internet digging for information. I'm working on a project for a friend of mine that has given me that opportunity. But that isn't consuming all my internet time.

I love to sing and I really want to improve my guitar and my piano skills. Why don't I take the time away from the internet to do those very things that feed my soul? I mean, is reading one more article about Bush and his shenanigans going to feed my soul? I don't think so.

I have several books I'm reading and several more I want to read before the semester starts. Another love of mine . . . reading. A lot of what I do on the internet is reading, but it's not the same as snuggling up under the covers with a good mystery! I have, thankfully, managed to keep my computer out of my bedroom. I don't have wireless, and I'm not going to go buy a longer cable. That keeps that from happening. So instead of turning the computer off at a decent hour and reading a good book, I manage to stay up late and slip in a few paragraphs just before nodding off.

I have tax information to gather up. All my paperwork is sitting in a box, staring at me day after day. I've managed to get through about half of it since Christmas time. It is imperative that I do this for one of two reasons. Firstly, I need to apply for my financial aid, and I have to have a reasonable estimate of my what my tax return is going to look like, or not look like. Secondly, I will not have time to take care of this after school starts again on the 28th of this month.

I have a couple of projects around the house that need my attention. They REALLY do need to get done.

I comfort myself with the fact that this is the first time since I graduated from high school that I've had this much time on my hands, and that I deserve to 'goof off'.

So why am I avoiding all these things? Jungian psychology says asking the questions are more important than finding the answers. I could probably turn that around to work in favour of my proscratinatory behaviour of late.

There's someone in my psyche that loves the thrill of getting 'it' in under the wire. And that someone is winning right now. Somehow I have to wake up those other elements of my psyche that want to have a more sane and ordered life.

Oops, I just burnt my dinner....

Can't Sleep

I just get those times when I can't sleep. I wrote in my 'real' journal, things you will never read on these pages. That didn't seem to help, so I turned on the computer. Fatal mistake. I check out the Irish Times. What do I see? A photo of our beloved President amidst a sea of Greek Orthodox clergymen. Surreal. Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo-doo. Á la Twilight Zone.

Perhaps this blog was bad idea. Why don't I play the piano or the guitar instead? Why don't I write a new song?

I think I'll try to sleep again.